I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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