I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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