Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize