i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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