This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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