it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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