How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Acid is not a monday night drug
He passed out mid-signature
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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