So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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