Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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