so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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