Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
