There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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