the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
