I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
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In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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