watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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