dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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