flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
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I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
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Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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