I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
