Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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