she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
