just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
