Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
