Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
