You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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