well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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