i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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