tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
