It's just like the Real World with babies
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
