Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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