why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
