he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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