You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
