All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
