you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
