big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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