bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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