Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
