you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I forget how to act sober
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