only if we run a train.
done.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize