And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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