you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
