she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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