oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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