The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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