I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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