so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
