I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize