I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
