Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
