May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize