i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
