I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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