it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
