his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
