i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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