I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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