We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
